Covid19, Day ??

I'm a homebody but this is excessive.

I feel like I've cleaned the same messes and done the same fun activities and watched the same shows and had the same daily routine for years at this point, and it has only been a month of Ohio's Stay at Home order.

If I wasn't working from home, I would have completely cracked by now, beyond what I already have.

Working from home has been an interesting venture but even that, I'm ready to be in office with my coworkers, coworkers who aren't trying to lay in my lap while I work (aka, my kitten kids). I didn't realize how much I would miss my desk chair or my calculator... a printer. 

I'm so excited for things to open back up (once safe) and to do activities outside of the apartment. I think that largely results from me being ready to be away from the apartment in general. I tell Josh daily that I'm going to go off on our neighbors. These people... they have at least 2, maybe 3 kids based on the different screams we here, but they scream and stomp and cry- ALL. DAY. LONG. Don't get me wrong, I know that this is what kids do, I'm well prepared and expectant of that for when we have our own children, but for the love of all things Holy... they do it like it's their full time job! From 9am when they first awake to 10:30 or later at night, it doesn't stop. I don't think we realized it before quite this much because neither of us were home all hours. Now that I am, I'm wondering how to get their parents to do a little more with them.

Being home all this time has also stifled my creativity. I usually have different blog ideas on hand to type up and post weekly but now, clearly, I'm two weeks behind on my own deadline, which is disappointing. I know that nobody lives for my weekly posts but I feel good about making them. 

Beyond my blog, it's been an absolute chore to do other things that I enjoy, like repotting or watering my numerous plants or wanting to pull out a canvas and paint and just create, but I just have no desire. I try to blame it on not having that drive to or from work to break my day but honestly, I just don't know. I worry my creativity is fleeting.

I'm worried that as things open back up, more cases of Covid19 will spike and we'll be back to square one and I really don't think I could handle square one again. I'm feeling okay with the idea of needing to wear a mask while out in public but I need some activity, especially as we edge towards warmer months. I feel so whiny but my God I need a pool day and hangout time with my people... I'll host! Maybe our noise will drown out the neighbors?

This virus has ruined so much and I can only think good thoughts as we get closer to civilization opening back up. Fingers crossed and good vibes only about all of this... for all of our sanity.

Life Inside the Quarantine

It's been 3 weeks of enforced isolation. 3 weeks of work from home and really only supposed to be seeing those who live in my apartment on a regular basis (we may have cheated last week and gone to hang out with friends for Wrestlemania... sue us). 3 weeks of paranoia that we or someone we may know will develop the sick and infect those around them. 

3 weeks of following into tik-tok video holes and annoyance with myself for not doing something more productive with my time. I've been planning on making the adorable paper roses for mine and Josh's wedding for the past 7 months and I've done one single mock rose to ensure I could do it.... that was in December. CLEARLY I'm a pro at free time. 

I have been reading more, which has been nice. I like to get book ideas from movie trailers. If I see a trailer that looks interesting and is based on a book, 9 times out of 10 the book will be better, guaranteed. I'm presently reading The Woman in the Window by A.J. Finn. I'm about half way through and I'm finding myself needing to tell myself to step away so that I don't finish it in one night... because the library is closed and I can't pick up anything new. But it is SO good! 

I've also been working my green thumb and repotting my indoor plants and trying to decide what more I can do to make my plant babies happy... with mixed results. I'm losing a succulent that's refusing to give me signs of life. I think it's fine though as my interests have begun to shift from succulents to leafy plants. Something about seeing a new leaf unravel is strangely thrilling.

I can say for sure that our apartment is feeling so much cleaner than ever before. Being home all day has made it so that I can't find excuse not to keep up on basic chores.

Just don't mind the basket of clean laundry that needs put away still

We've used some of this time to really hone in on what we're looking for in a house... namely anything that isn't this apartment for much longer. I dream of open space and a craft room and a basement/man cave that I can finally use to house Josh's horror collectables... he had more dolls than I ever did growing up. 

All that aside...

I'm losing my damn mind.

I love Josh and all he does for us but my lord if he can't allow me to sit in silence for a bit I may find some sardine oil and a tiger. 

The cats... oh the cats. They seem to think I'm home only for them. Constantly they try to join me on the desk, though, I can assure you, there is no room.

Josh works Tuesday-Friday so I'm home and stuck with the fur brats who demand frequent attention. As needy as they are, they're never an issue until I get up to step away for a moment, then I'll have one of these two think about writing a chapter in their novel in cat-nese.

Meanwhile, Snickers, my perfect baby angel of 14, naps nearby all day and provides no issue ever:

Check out those little chicken wing arms!

All in all though- I'll survive. As we all will. Just one day at a time! If anyone needs any contact from outside of your home, feel free to reach out... I'm beginning to hear words in meow.

Oh Hai, Social Media!

Me, plugging back into the world today.

March 2020, a month without social media. With all that's been going on with the world, I think I choose both the best and worst time to take a break.

So why did I take a break?

Do you ever catch yourself wondering what and when you should post in order to garner the most "likes" and comments? Do you find yourself wasting minutes, hours, a whole day to the mindless scrolling of facebook? Occasionally double tapping an Instagram post while flicking the screen, blankly staring as photos and words fly by, not really reading or seeing but scrolling on as a way to pass time?

What about this- do you walk away from a social media binge feeling negative? Feeling extra judgmental about what others are posting or how they're portraying their lives?

I had been feeling both of these for quite some time. It was time to remove myself in order to center myself. To take a breath of non social media based air.

I suddenly had extra time on my hands, lots of it! I got to spend some of that time reading, having genuine relationships with family, hanging out with Josh, being a smidge more connected than normal.

As I've stated before, it was definitely 50/50 on being the best and worst time to take my break considering all that the month of March brought on... including my newest niece and nephew, two of the cutest babies I've ever seen (totally not biased, at all!).

I also missed what appeared to be the height of the fear of the Coronavirus... I got to avoid saying something that I may regret later by responding to posts made in ignorance and posts made to promote fear mongering. I missed posts about toilet paper depletion and grocery stores running on E as my fellow Ohioans prepared for what could have felt like the end times. I only used government news and websites to determine my understanding of what was happening.

I also dyed my hair (and hands- all the gloves are sold out!) green... quarantine hair is what I'm calling it!

Notice that my sleeves are covering my hands. This was the first day and my hands were teal...  evidence below

LISTEN. Don't judge me!

But... life doesn't have to be a constant stream of sharing. Life is about living, and being there in the moment. Especially right now, with all sorts of news hitting our news feed. We don't need to be so connected all the time.

I urge everyone to take a little break from social media. It helps to refocus on what is really important to us. 

It's a positive to unplug from being glued to your phone and connecting with yourself and the world around you. 

Corona Update 1 of ?

Considering last week's post was about Corona, I definitely wasn't planning to write about it again but with the world progressing as it has- it's inevitable.

Is anyone else as over this as I am? Like over over. I'm ready for normalcy and being able to go where I want, when I want.

This stay at home order is insane- I'm working from home, slowly losing my mind as my cats pry my attention from my computer, wondering why I'm home and not showering them with attention.

((Meanwhile Snickers is just wondering why I'm interrupting his naps))

It's been two days of work from home and I already miss coworkers... And printers. And a fax machine. And a calculator that isn't on my phone. Normal office supplies have become a dream.

One good thing about work from home is that all of the chores are getting done on my lunch break- we've never had so little laundry to do!

Also- EVERYTHING cool is closed. No bowling alley, no movie theater, no eating out, Starbucks is closed. We shouldn't be visiting family and friends, otherwise we risk both their and our health. Life as we know it has stalled. And I'm already bored (as well as under caffeinated!).

I of course wish nothing but good health for all and I'm looking forward to CoVid19 being a crazy story that we all tell our kids down the road... but can we chill with the fear? Is it really as bad as they say? I know I'll probably change my thoughts on that if someone I personally know gets sick but goodness... wash your hands and get on with it! 

I'm looking forward to the weekend and maybe taking a walk around the block while still "staying at home." I'm looking forward to some free time to mess with my plants and maybe making breakfast and sharing a close moment with Josh... something we rarely get to do because we're usually on the go each and every weekend. 

Here's hoping you all have enough toilet paper to last you the quarantine!

CoVid19

You can't go anywhere without hearing the word "Coronavirus." You can't go to the grocery store late at night without being reminded that there is a bit of a panic about town. The canned goods are picked over, the disinfectant aisle appears to be more of a ghost of its former self, hand sanitizer is two to three times it's normal price. The toilet paper... it's gone (seriously, someone let me know where it can be found... I'm not trying to shower everytime I poo).

Some of you may know but I'm presently taking a social media hiatus. This is both the best and worst time to do this I feel as a lot of the news I've read over the years has originated from Facebook. Now I'm getting my information from word of mouth and fact checking it using Google... and missing the hilarious memes being born of this time.

The biggest thing I can think of about this at this time is prevention.

• Wash your hands, regularly
• Sanitize regularly touched surfaces
• Don't touch your face, or at least try to avoid it
• Cough and sneeze into your elbow to prevent your spray reaching others
• Don't lick doorknobs or handles
• Wash your freaking hands.

Seems to be the best thing for most (or all) of us to do is stay inside and ride this out.

To the teenagers loudly coughing and hacking for attention in grocery stores... grow up. Someone will do to you what I dream of.

Also, COMMUNICATE.

Spread word of what your plan is so as to ease others' concerns. We're in a confusing time right now and it's better to have too much information than too little.

This whole thing has been becoming increasingly more difficult to deal with as it interrupts our most basic of daily tasks. The thought of mandatory temperature checks and monitoring of who we come into contact with in the event we or they get sick... it's crazy. I haven't even been to see my newest niece and nephew yet due to concern around hospitals.

I'm ready for normalcy!

RESPECT.

Respect is a word that a recent few have seemed to have forgotten the meaning of.

Respect is something that should be obvious, you get it when you show it.

It's not solely about what you show in public, it's also what you exude when behind closed doors.

It's treating others in a manner that you would accept as treatment to yourself from others... the golden rule.

It's an understanding with another individual that they have nothing to worry themselves over, at least when it comes to you.

It's not being crass and obscene when nobody is around.

It's not hiding actions when you know it will upset someone else.

Respect is being open.

Respect is being honest.

Respect should be mutual.

Clearly I'm a little bent out of shape- for reasons that I will not disclose beyond this post.

I just feel like from time to time, people need to be reminded that the actions they take have reactions, be they major or minor, and that people on the outside will always have their own opinions from their vantage point.

We all have experiences that have shaped us into the people we are today. From those experiences we determine how we will handle other experiences moving forward. These experiences will also allow you the ability to share your knowledge of the situation with someone presently experiencing what you've found.

All of this, back to respect. I will not respect you for doing something that I have a bad experience from, when you know the experience I had was not a pleasant one. I've imparted my experience to you, you knew how I reacted. You should know that I won't stand idly by when you attempt or act like you intend to do to someone else what has been done to me.

I will raise my voice, refusing to be silenced. No matter our friendship or relationship, I will do what I feel necessary to make you understand the lack or respect you're showing others and, by your actions, me.

Respect one another. Only do what you would want done. Life is too short to ruin a good thing or someones hopes and dreams.

Working on my Fitness, He's my Witness (Oh Wee!)

As a large lady (1X if we're being honest), why is going to the gym so incredibly intimidating? I know for sure that I make bigger deals out of small things but I can't help but to feel a slight sense of dread to go to the gym and work out. It's so disgusting but I feel myself checking everytime I walk in to see if I'm the one who has the most to lose. If someone is larger than me or around the same size, it's the only way I feel even remotely comfortable... even then, I feel like I'm expected to have perfect form and know exactly what I'm doing, otherwise I'll be left to face ridicule.

Josh and I have really upped our gym appearances and I feel like I'm edging towards becoming more comfortable. I find I'm telling myself more often that the extra weight we carry belongs at the gym (where we hope to leave it) and that this is why I'm here... to make this tum smaller and my muscles larger. But still, I question if others are looking, judging:

"How did she allow herself to get there?"
"Gross"
"And THAT is why I work out"

My concerns about this are ridiculous and it affects my performance. In reality, everyone is focused solely on their own workouts, increasing their own strength, working on maintaining their own body image.

Working out is enjoyable. To feel my body growing both stronger and weaker as I work at perfecting motions to encourage strength. To feel sore after a great workout has become a sign that I'm doing the right thing for my body, pushing limits without breaking.

If only I could remove my mental inhibitions to really get the most out of my workouts. That initial 5-10 minutes in the gym is the worst, getting settled into knowing I don't look like some of the other amazing bodies that are in and working out... but then I think, some of them had to have been where I am now. I can get to where they are too.

Feeling fit- I'm coming for ya.